It transpired via an online search that I had not been included in an online magazine but it transpired that it was somebody's hobby newspaper generated automatically from Twitter feeds. That wasn't exactly a crushing blow but I could definitely hear the hiss of air escaping from a rapidly deflating ego.
Needless to say, I had to have a go at producing my own online newspaper. This one's called "Zephod's Gazette". How long it'll remain in operation is unknown as it's a freebie website. It took all of twenty minutes to put together and auto generates with auto publishing at midnight every night. It would be nice to combine it with adsense but that doesn't seem possible.
Meanwhile, my second disappointment of the day was some hair removal cream. It was bought in the men's section of a dollar store. The result - it didn't do anything. This seems pretty standard for stuff from dollar stores. Razorless is the claim. The UPC is 072790000188.
Sadly the results proved that the stuff doesn't work. It's supposed to be for men. It's supposed to remove beard growth. It didn't actually work.
Clearly it didn't work! I can't say I'm surprised. Women complain all the time that hair removal products don't work. The fraud continues unabated with fake hair removal products on sale. I wouldn't mind betting that there's no potion in this packet that will remove any hair. It's cheap enough that nobody will get upset enough to complain formally about it to whatever consumer ombudsman exists in the US and expensive enough that the peddler makes a tidy profit.